Thursday, January 7, 2016

I go to the gym to workout. It’s my therapy. I put my headphones in and get into my zone. The last thing I want is someone interrupting me. I want to workout and get the heck out of there.

For some reason, people feel the need to get me to pause my workout so they can have someone to chat up. Never mind that I’m running hard and sweating like a 500 lb teamster in a hot kitchen. A rational person would notice the headphones and the running and know not to bother me. But, we aren’t talking about normal people.

These people come to the gym to socialize rather than workout. And generally, you can spot them a mile away. Often they have a cup of coffee in hand. Because of course, someone needing to quickly hydrate while burning lots of calories would chose to gulp down steaming hot fluids. Beware of the coffee drinkers at the gym.

Some others think the gym is a bar on singles night. I don’t understand this logic. I always look like crap at the gym. My hair’s a mess. I don’t wear makeup. And I probably smell. Who thinks that is attractive? I attempt to avoid all eye contact while I am there for this reason.

I am a very social person and willing to help strangers, but that decorum is thrown out the door at the gym. I want to get in and out and I don’t want to be distracted.

Yesterday, as I was 20 minutes into my workout, a woman asked me to remove my earbuds. I did. Then I couldn’t hear her over the elliptical, so I had to stop it. She literally interrupted my workout at its peak to ask me a question. That important question was. “How can I get my butt to look like yours?” This question deserved a response, so I said, “You don’t let people interrupt your workout.”

The prior day, my workout was interrupted by someone who asked me if I liked the equipment I was using. A rude lady deserved a rude response, so I said, “I like it until someone stops me from using it to ask a question with an obvious answer.”

And yes, the come on lines happen at the gym. My favorite all time one was from a man (coffee in hand) who said to me, “I think you might be older than you look. How old are you?” So, I doubled my age and said I am turning 80 that year and asked him if he knows where I can get a new walker.

I crank up my machines to level 8. Often, I am next to someone on level 2. We all work at different levels, but I’m not going to be moving as fast compared to someone with less resistance. But, this is often something that illicits a comment from an armchair quarterback with coffee in hand. “Gee, why are you sweating so much when she’s going so much faster than you?”

Gee, thanks fellow. Looks like your coffee is running low. Maybe it’s time to go fill it up.

Don’t let naysayers impede your workout. And if it happens, laugh it off because the joke is on them.

And, don’t even get me started on the gym newbies… I’m not saying I don’t want people to work out, I just want them to do their thing so I can do mine.

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